Make development great again



60 Seconds: Make development great again

Good afternoon,

Love him or loath him, you can’t ignore Donald Trump.

Personally, I am appalled by some of his outbursts, but then you look at what he is achieving.

He is getting things done. Hardly a day goes by without some major policy initiative.

Let us suppose that one of Donald’s long-lost relatives (the Don’s mother hailed from the Outer Hebrides) ends up as Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government.

Now fast forward to 2025 when Iain McTrump, the Don’s long-lost cousin, has been made Secretary of State and makes his maiden speech on planning and housing.

Here it is in full.

The NPPF. It’s short but not short enough so I’m abolishing it. One of my predecessors, Sajid Javid made some tweaks in 2018. Well, I’m going to make a tweak. For now on it will be called the NFPP – No F****** Planning Policy. For me, all form of central control smacks of Communism so we are sending it to North Korea.

36d789c4-6ed5-41ce-8b34-c089d13d40e5Planning Applications. From now on, all of these will be submitted via Twitter. Any over 140 characters will be immediately rejected. Here’s an example, from my cousin:

Scotland. 18-hole golf course, five-star 450 room hotel, shops, sports complex, timeshare and housing estate. Minor effects on birds & other vermin.

A-A-A-A-PROVED. No questions asked.

Green Belt. I’ve looked at the rankings in Judo and can’t find no Green Belt in Japan, so it can’t be real, so it’s abolished. Simple.

Retention. One of the bureaucrats who is employed here (none of them work) said that retrospective planning is a problem. Well, it ain’t no more. Our policy is simple: you build it, we’ll approve it.

High-rise. Yep, if Trump Towers is good enough for my cousin, it sure is good enough for me.  Let’s put New York to shame.

Well, that’s the end of my first day. No bad, eh?

An if ye nae like it, Jimmy, I’ll ha youse outside.

Have a good weekend and a Happy Easter.


The week ahead

Rule of three
Three councils face intervention over local plans

Hell-bent on paying rent
Ranked: These are the 10 areas in London with the highest growth in rents over the past decade

Weakest link
London is still the weakest performing region for house price growth at present, with prices down one per cent year-on-year.

And Finally…

Man with a cara-ban
South London man told to remove ‘caravan’ extension

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