60 Seconds: Keep your head in the sand



60 Seconds: Keep your head in the sand


You’ve jumped through all the hoops to try to get your planning permission: archaeology, ecology, hydrology and seismology.

Not to mention sustainability, viability, feasibility and arability. And of course there is infrastructure, architecture and leisure.

And then you get a recommendation for refusal. Why?

You have not considered Smartphone-ability. This does not refer to the strength of the mobile signal or the interference your structure may cause.

No, structures must be designed to be safe for mobile phones users who, like ostriches, walk around with their heads in the sand.

9fbd376f-245d-4377-897a-d44b965858c1The latest victim of the safety police is a stretch of water (what we used to call a feature) called The Rill on the south back of the Thames. This lovely rivulet – a couple of feet wide – breaks up the ‘More London Estate’, 13 acres of concrete which was a finalist in the Carbuncle Cup for badly designed development.

And why is being filled in? The ostriches kept tripping into it while tweeting at the same time. No one has been seriously hurt.

I owe one to The Guardian who have been digging up (bad pun) some more nonsenses which have become the victim of the Smartphonholics™.

Salisbury Cathedral had to remove a lovely statue of clasped hands because the ostriches kept banging their heads into it.

They have the right approach in Honolulu – you get a $35 on the spot fine for crossing the street while looking at your phone, trying to get a date on Tinder or Grindr. Dead right.

Is there anything really that urgent? Don’t answer that.

So when you are submitting that planning permission and if you including a water feature, then be sure to get some Great Crested Newts to move in.

That way it won’t be concreted over.

Have a good weekend.


The week ahead

A school will receive an architectural prize even though locals claim it has caused traffic bordering on “carnage”

Khan he do it again?

London Mayor Sadiq Khan to seek second term

For the millennial, not the few 
Tory MPs challenge May to adopt radical housing agenda in bid for younger voters’ support

Lover not a fighter

Local people should learn to love new homes and not fight them, says James Brokenshire

And Finally…

Football’s coming homes
Final green light for Gary Neville’s St Michael’s scheme from housing secretary

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